Lack of Flexibility
Preoccupation with Food
Fear of Heart Attack
High Cancer Risk
Unwillingness to Join In
Lack of Self-Respect
Brunt of Child Humor
Loss of Physical Stamina
Diet Drug Abuse
Earlier Death Probablity
Need I list more symptoms experienced continuously by people with a weight problem?
Fat reduction and exercise is a primary concern for all of us today.
"Becoming heavy" which is how I have always referred to my creeping obesity, is the result of a steady stream of unconscious and uninformed choices.
The first signs were that slight bloat of added pounds around the waist and a puffiness in the face. But with it were personal successes, success with women, a kind of gentle roundness, a feeling of being big and knowing I had muscle under the curves, being ready for action when necessary.
As the pounds started to compound, other clues emerged. I found I was less attractive in the nude. Even worse, my energy started to wean, my moods became more unpredictable, and I became less willing to spontaneously move in fear of embarrassment, discomfort, and injury. It became safer to stay on the sidelines.
I usually had one of several reactions when I was told "You look heavier." After an initial sadness and despondence, I could slip into denial, measuring the changes as incidental. Or I could launch a major assault against my system by fasting, embarking on an extreme physical challenge, or use a dangerous diet drug. All would provide temporary success, and reassure me that there was always a backup 'silver-bullet' when necessary.
In time, this self-deception became less reliable. The weight rebound became too self-evident, and worse, the probability of still further weight gain became locked in, as this foolish pattern progressed in time.
It has always been my responsibility to re-educate myself to my appropriate caloric intake. It has always been my job to find consistent exercise I might enjoy, to manage healthy self-maintenance. It is amazing how long I managed to delude myself. Miraculously oblivious, emblazoned I consumed volumes. Inconsistent with common logic... all with the underpinning that I could fix myself later. Who was I kidding?
No doubt the psychological solace, and well oiled patterns from childhood, made eating massive quantities sacrosanct. There was seldom any thought about nutritional consideration over 'in the moment' satisfaction. The thought that my body may have an opinion beyond pre-programmed pleasure patterns was inconceivable.
I can compare this to the sexual zeal of a young man bent on consuming his conquest, with no consequential awareness to the needs of his partner. I was so preoccupied with my ravenous appetites I lost all objectivity. I never thought to fortify a healthy balanced relationship with sensitive self-evaluation.
Like this adolescent stud obsessed on satisfying his penis, my distraction became my tongue. And since there is an incongruity with obsessive eating and success in the bedroom, my sex life suffered because of it.
With my bouts of gout, my roosters finally came home to roost. Yet even with the blatant parallels of gout and eating patterns, still I remained numb to my self-defeating conditioning.
Finally, when perpetual fatigue and complete lack of stamina haunted every waking day, could I sense the approaching shadows. A growing fear accompanied me to bed each night. A heart attack death, leaving my children fatherless, followed me like a stalking leopard.
I knew it was time to seek help.