Welcome to Dalando's Personal Diet Dairy
For an introduction to this diary begin with the personal statistics page.

2/21/2004
116 kg

A complete health physical reassured me that my major fears are just that, not fully manifest yet well worth being fearful of.

In other words, my growing awareness of the pitfalls of my lackadaisical lifestyle, a life that is killing me, little by little, widens with my waistline. A fatty liver, complete with suspicious cyst, rising blood pressure, expanding obesity, and the obvious symptoms of being short of breath and low on energy, all screaming "Move more or die, to my own slow death of limited options."

But now the "But..." of all big butt people.

Today an appointment with a friend at the body building gym... tomorrow a lunch with another dear friend at an exclusive restaurant... A seesaw lifestyle could be tilted toward success, if the joy of exercise and health could be developed by strong willed lifestyle choices, or lost to soft willed sedations. Eating, and slipping into a slothful slumber, is as much a sedative as drinking and drugs.

Last year worked for four glorious months, of steady Atkins weight loss and frequent swimming.

BUT then weight and eventually psychological despair rebounded, when work and old habits took precedence. The tedium of 'exercise and premeditated consumption' could not be overcome. The new rituals could not overshadow entrenched patterns and a historical disdain. My disdain for repetitive motion to create exertion is comparable to my disdain for dentistry and daily dental care, painful at worse, boring at best.

I usually manage to exercise and self-maintain eventually BUT this is not the revolution necessary, not the lifestyle of success needed for a toned in tune future. The clue is in 'could,' the solution is in 'will.' The power over the big BUT is butting hard, against my self doubt with my own proactive solutions.

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