Welcome to Dalando's Personal Diet Dairy
For an introduction to this diary begin with the personal statistics page.
11 /10/2003
111 kg
It is not surprising that my weight is a bit higher because my appetite has been intense and old addictions to sugary carbohydrates has returned. My reactions parallel that of an alcoholic. Once I allow myself, just one sweet, like a coca cola or cream pastry, the old pattern of needing more comes back.
I would prefer, when I am as busy as I am during the school term, to be able to eat spontaneously and with the convenience of what is readily available. But, unfortunately, this draws me back into my addictive patterns. The struggle is between wanting to feel full and to feel stimulated, but these are contradicting bodily functions. Being full makes one sleepy, and being stimulated often means a dependency on high sugar carbohydrates or caffeine products. An inappropriate dietary balance inevitably puts one under the weather emotionally. Proper rest and effective energy maintenance is lost to the primary goal of satisfying the addictions... food becomes the focus, enticing guilt and a general sense of impotence in controlling weight.
This see-sawing between feeling tired and needing to get things done creates anxiety which in turn encourages inappropriate eating. Welcome to dieter's hell. One is not happy with dieting but when not dieting one feels abandoned into the hapless wilderness of ineffective eating. There is neither the satisfaction one hungers for, nor the enthusiasm needed for constructive alternatives.
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Robert L. Seltman
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