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1/24/2003
119 kg
As work has slacked off and I go into university break, I am focusing all my energy into the diet and exercise. I have started with Atkins for dieting. Exercise is membership in a swimming club with long and not crowded swimming lanes one meter deep. Swimming and having the time to do it at leisure has been good. This initiation stage of the Atkins Plan has been hard, challenging my sugar and caffine addictions while simultaneously disrupting my eating habits (no-carbohydrates, including bread, rice, spaghetti, fruit, potato, etc.).
As I struggle with adjusting my habitual behavior in eating, I feel a mixed array of emotions. When I am ill (the changes have come with an assortment of debilitating physical symptoms) I feel great waves of hopelessness. Statistically this futility is hard to argue with. I have been carefully monitoring my weight for six months and there has been no progress. Despite a sincere effort at self education, there apparently can be no loss with out some radical initiative.
Education was an essential step but unless I can start feeling my goals are achievable there is always a high risk of a vicious cycle of sacrifice and binge, euphoria and depression. The exercise has been more rewarding, as the tightening of muscles and the release of kinks and under used muscles. I chose Atkins because it can offer some progress, at least in theory. Only time will tell. Needless to say, most radical steps are seldom supported across the board, while moderate steps seldom show results. The dieter is forced to commit to some theoretical plan to make progress in real time.
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